Star Captain FAQ
Q. What is a star captain?
A. Star captains are men of great heroism, valor, and honor. They bravely destroy space aliens every day so you and I can live in peace.
Q. What does a star captain look like?
A. They usually have stubble. Many star captains also have a square jaw, a helmet, or both. Star captains can be found at the helm of a Subspace Recon Corvette, or in a cave somewhere killing aliens, or even on
the maintenance deck of their ship, fixing a broken sonic energy manipulater.
Q. I've never met a star captain. Give me an example of a famous star captain.
A.
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Leon "Lefty" James, who rescued a space bus full of galaxy infants from a Xyvellian scrap collector, comes to mind. Don't forget his heroic friend,
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Ricardo "Poscred" Kipper, who served under
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Charles "Planetbarber" McLeod in the Battle of Ravin IX.
Q. What sort of weapon does a star captain use?
A. Well, Star Captain
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French "Spacesuit" McGreely made the Taihatsu Heavy Industries Reaper famous. His contemporary,
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Biff "Space Nugget" Astronov, of course prefers the Taihatsu Heavy Industries PP7000. A true star captain feels comfortable with a whole range of weapons, from Incam Death Sticks to GE Ion Projectors.
Q. Wow, star captains are really great! Will you tell me all about them?
A. You bet! You can subscribe to the official Star Captains Club of America RSS feed. Every so often, we will
update it with the latest breaking news about our heroes in the sky.
An example of a harrowing tale from the galactic front lines:
The Intergalactic News Service just received a report stating that at 608.7101 Galactic Standard Time, Star Captain Buck "Strawback" O'Mule, veteran of the Battle of Ravin IX, fought off space crabs while he rerouted the flux capacitors to the shield generator! He will receive the Blue Galaxy Award for his valorous display of honor. During the ordeal, O'Mule was reported to have
used his Scythan Reaper with deadly effectiveness. Known to the crew of his Subspace Recon Corvette simply as
"Strawback," O'Mule is a humble yet intense star captain. His life-long friend and navigator,
Jack "Limpy" Johnson, says this about him: "Strawback can do it all. One minute he's fixing a
ionic discharge router, the next he's off fighting Galvorian Space Pirates with his Taihatsu Heavy Industries Beam Baton. He's really
an impressive man, and we're glad that he's at the helm of the G.S.S. Trailmaker." The Galactic Queen will be presenting the award at a formal ceremony on Star Date 110857.
