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Star Captains Club of America

Star Captain FAQ

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Star Captain FAQ

Q. What is a star captain?
A. Star captains are men of great heroism, valor, and honor. They bravely destroy space aliens every day so you and I can live in peace.

Q. What does a star captain look like?
A. They usually have stubble. Many star captains also have a square jaw, a helmet, or both. Star captains can be found at the helm of a Fleet Tactical Carrier, or in a cave somewhere killing aliens, or even on the maintenance deck of their ship, fixing a broken sonic energy manipulater.

Q. I've never met a star captain. Give me an example of a famous star captain.
A.
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Julius "Doc" Wilson, who fought bravely to defend the last outpost on Tragon IV, comes to mind. Don't forget his heroic friend,
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Jean "Knuckles" Riley, who served under
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Bob "The Professor" Astronov in the Fifth Invasion.

Q. What sort of weapon does a star captain use?
A. Well, Star Captain
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Dimitri "Chicken Hawk" Higgins made the Taihatsu Heavy Industries Pulse Rifle famous. His contemporary,
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Bob "Trout" Wiggin, of course prefers the Arman Ion Projector. A true star captain feels comfortable with a whole range of weapons, from Flexmatic Reapers to GE Phasetronic Rayguns.

Q. Wow, star captains are really great! Will you tell me all about them?
A. You bet! You can subscribe to the official Star Captains Club of America RSS feed. Every so often, we will update it with the latest breaking news about our heroes in the sky.

An example of a harrowing tale from the galactic front lines:

The Intergalactic News Service just received a report stating that last night, Star Captain French "Dumpy" Davis, veteran of the Galactic Civil War, successfully led the fleet through the System Alpha asteroid belt! He will receive the Red Asteroid Medal for his honorable display of valor. During the ordeal, Davis was reported to have used his Arman Quad Laser with deadly effectiveness. Known to the crew of his Fleet Tactical Carrier simply as "Dumpy," Davis is a humble yet intense star captain. His life-long friend and navigator, Ricardo "Legs" McNeilson, says this about him: "Dumpy can do it all. One minute he's fixing a shield generator, the next he's off fighting Galvorian Space Pirates with his Walther Ion Projector. He's really an impressive man, and we're glad that he's at the helm of the U.S.S. Liberator." The Hegemon will be presenting the award at a formal ceremony on Star Date 110857.