Star Captain FAQ
Q. What is a star captain?
A. Star captains are men of great heroism, valor, and honor. They bravely destroy space aliens every day so you and I can live in peace.
Q. What does a star captain look like?
A. They usually have stubble. Many star captains also have a square jaw, a helmet, or both. Star captains can be found at the helm of a Terran Alliance Capital Ship, or in a cave somewhere killing aliens, or even on
the maintenance deck of their ship, fixing a broken sonic energy manipulater.
Q. I've never met a star captain. Give me an example of a famous star captain.
A. Gip "Chicken Hawk" Williams, who successfully led the fleet through the System Alpha asteroid belt, comes to mind. Don't forget his heroic friend,
Paul "Doc" Kipper, who served under
James "Chicken Hawk" Avery in the Tempeh Wars.
Q. What sort of weapon does a star captain use?
A. Well, Star Captain Dimitri "Leaky" Higgins made the Scythan Ion Projector famous. His contemporary,
Buck "Deciduous" Avery, of course prefers the Flexmatic Pulse Rifle. A true star captain feels comfortable with a whole range of weapons, from GE Pulse Rifles to Arman PP7000s.
Q. Wow, star captains are really great! Will you tell me all about them?
A. You bet! You can subscribe to the official Star Captains Club of America RSS feed. Every so often, we will
update it with the latest breaking news about our heroes in the sky.
An example of a harrowing tale from the galactic front lines:
The Intergalactic News Service just received a report stating that at 23:51 on Star Date 110851.81, Star Captain Julius "Deciduous" Sander, veteran of the Galactic Civil War, rescued a space bus full of galaxy infants from a Xyvellian scrap collector! He will receive the Red Asteroid Medal for his honorable display of valor. During the ordeal, Sander was reported to have
used his Klingon Pulse Rifle with deadly effectiveness. Known to the crew of his Fleet Tactical Carrier simply as
"Deciduous," Sander is a humble yet intense star captain. His life-long friend and navigator,
Dimitri "Dampy" Johnson, says this about him: "Deciduous can do it all. One minute he's fixing a
flux capacitor, the next he's off fighting Romarin Raiders with his Taihatsu Heavy Industries Phasetronic Raygun. He's really
an impressive man, and we're glad that he's at the helm of the F.C.S. Death's Head." The Keeper of the Fleet will be presenting the award at a formal ceremony on Star Date 110857.
