Star Captain FAQ
Q. What is a star captain?
A. Star captains are men of great heroism, valor, and honor. They bravely destroy space aliens every day so you and I can live in peace.
Q. What does a star captain look like?
A. They usually have stubble. Many star captains also have a square jaw, a helmet, or both. Star captains can be found at the helm of a Planetary Assault Destroyer, or in a cave somewhere killing aliens, or even on
the maintenance deck of their ship, fixing a broken flux capacitor.
Q. I've never met a star captain. Give me an example of a famous star captain.
A. Trevor "Hamstring" O'Mule, who successfully led the fleet through the System Alpha asteroid belt, comes to mind. Don't forget his heroic friend,
Ralph "Trout" Davis, who served under
Ricardo "Doc" O'Mule in the Battle of Ravin IX.
Q. What sort of weapon does a star captain use?
A. Well, Star Captain Gip "Leaky" Benson made the Arman Beam Baton famous. His contemporary,
Raymond "Knuckles" Wallace, of course prefers the Taihatsu Heavy Industries Phasetronic Raygun. A true star captain feels comfortable with a whole range of weapons, from Teragyll Beam Batons to Scythan Tech Beam Rifles.
Q. Wow, star captains are really great! Will you tell me all about them?
A. You bet! You can subscribe to the official Star Captains Club of America RSS feed. Every so often, we will
update it with the latest breaking news about our heroes in the sky.
An example of a harrowing tale from the galactic front lines:
The Intergalactic News Service just received a report stating that just this morning, Star Captain Paul "Knuckles" Avery, veteran of the Fifth Invasion, endured horrible torture at the hands of Vespian rebels to protect Fleet secrets! He will receive the Medal of Extreme Honor for his selfless act of heroism. During the ordeal, Avery was reported to have
used his Taihatsu Heavy Industries Energy Repeater with deadly effectiveness. Known to the crew of his Terran Alliance Capital Ship simply as
"Knuckles," Avery is a humble yet intense star captain. His life-long friend and navigator,
Dick "Chucklehead" Benson, says this about him: "Knuckles can do it all. One minute he's fixing a
shield generator, the next he's off fighting Romarin Raiders with his Incam Beam Baton. He's really
an impressive man, and we're glad that he's at the helm of the F.C.S. Death's Head." The Hegemon will be presenting the award at a formal ceremony later this week.
