Star Captain FAQ
Q. What is a star captain?
A. Star captains are men of great heroism, valor, and honor. They bravely destroy space aliens every day so you and I can live in peace.
Q. What does a star captain look like?
A. They usually have stubble. Many star captains also have a square jaw, a helmet, or both. Star captains can be found at the helm of a Galactic Heavy Frigate, or in a cave somewhere killing aliens, or even on
the maintenance deck of their ship, fixing a broken shield generator.
Q. I've never met a star captain. Give me an example of a famous star captain.
A.
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Julius "Chucklehead" Higgins, who rallied his troops to take back the mess hall onboard his ship, comes to mind. Don't forget his heroic friend,
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French "Johnny" Guttenov, who served under
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Dimitri "Leaky" James in the Tempeh Wars.
Q. What sort of weapon does a star captain use?
A. Well, Star Captain
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Boris "Johnny" McNeil made the Incam Reaper famous. His contemporary,
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Gip "Peppy" O'Reilly, of course prefers the Flexmatic Pulse Rifle. A true star captain feels comfortable with a whole range of weapons, from Taihatsu Heavy Industries Reapers to Fleet Standard Issue PP7000s.
Q. Wow, star captains are really great! Will you tell me all about them?
A. You bet! You can subscribe to the official Star Captains Club of America RSS feed. Every so often, we will
update it with the latest breaking news about our heroes in the sky.
An example of a harrowing tale from the galactic front lines:
The Intergalactic News Service just received a report stating that today, Star Captain Dirk "Trout" O'Mally, veteran of the Battle of Ravin IX, fought bravely to defend the last outpost on Tragon IV! He will receive the Orange Star Award for his selfless act of heroism. During the ordeal, O'Mally was reported to have
used his Taihatsu Heavy Industries Pulse Rifle with deadly effectiveness. Known to the crew of his Planetary Assault Destroyer simply as
"Trout," O'Mally is a humble yet intense star captain. His life-long friend and navigator,
Trevor "Legs" McLeod, says this about him: "Trout can do it all. One minute he's fixing a
ionic discharge router, the next he's off fighting Kharaa Cave Dogs with his GE PP7000. He's really
an impressive man, and we're glad that he's at the helm of the F.C.S. Death's Head." The Galactic Queen will be presenting the award at a formal ceremony next month.
